my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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