I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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