My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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