wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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