If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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