There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
