LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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