Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
