When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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