What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
