it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
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i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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