dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You're like the curious george of whores
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
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Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
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Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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