what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
