Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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