Swine flu. Run for my life!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
