okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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