she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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