After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
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Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
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Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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