plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
