rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I looked at my own cervix.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Boobs are out for the taking
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
