i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
