yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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