Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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