I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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