my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i believe in u and ur pee
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
