Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
