u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
