I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
