I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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