Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
