do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
