just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
