I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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