They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
