They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
