i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Randomize
