True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
