why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
