Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize