Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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