Define "chronic" masturbator.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
