I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
