That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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