Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
