Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
