I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think im going to throw up on grandma
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
