If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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