She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Quick, to the slutcave!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
