It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
