Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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