I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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