I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
