dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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