New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize