Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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