Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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