Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
