Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
