Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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