Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
