omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just had sex bonerless
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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