Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
